The right word at the right time is like precious gold set in silver.
Proverbs 25:11
I have two distinct memories from my middle school years. One was a math teacher – a bit of a sour old soul who spoke in short sentences and never smiled. His expectations were high, but he did little to motivate his group of 7th grade students to perform. The second was my volleyball coach. First, let me say, while I loved playing volleyball (and had a pretty accurate serve), I truly hated warmups and running. Mostly running. I’m terrible at it. And just the thought of running lines made me feel defeated. At the beginning of every practice, I would try hard to think of a new excuse to leave the court during our running drills. Yet it never failed that as I was dragging behind my teammates, my coach would come up to me and remind me of what I was capable of, of what reward was ahead of me and of my responsibility to the team. And it was those words, spoken in a most “coachly” way, that made me keep at the task at hand.
When we face things that seem bigger than our ability to handle them, what is it that gets us through?
My guess would be that it was a bit of something someone had planted in us at some time. A coach who spurred you on, someone who told you that you were loved and valued or a friend who reminded you of what was important.
Words have power!
They can build up, or they can tear down. And in the absence of words, there is silence… which leaves an empty space that will be filled with our own imaginings. Our world today is filled with enough negativity and criticism – and if we aren’t careful, these messages will be come the truth we live by.
Words and Body Chemistry
Scientists have actually been studying the power of positive messaging1. And I have my own personal test case. The brain that receives positive expression (and even when subjected to positive visual imaging such as a smile) has increased cognitive function and an increased dopamine release. Dopamine plays a big part in our ability to think and plan. It helps us strive, focus, and find things interesting (and has a whole host of other roles in the body2 )
About that personal test case- here is a little true story about performance and the power of words that comes from my former job. I worked with a small team for an organization who had several key board members that we provided business services for. One of the board members was a gruff man who was from another culture. His communication style was curt, his demands were bold and he had little to say that was positive. The more he questioned and criticized, the more I tried to refine and increase my service level….and the more I dreaded every interaction. My motivation suffered. My memory and attention to detail declined. And I dreaded every interaction.
On the flip side, another organization I served had a different communication style. The expectation for quality was there, but the words were encouraging, the basis of communication was positive. And my interaction with this client was the polar opposite. My work was appreciated and I looked forward to providing them with the quality of service they needed.
The Power to Change
Encouraging words can
- motivate others to keep going
- improve a sense of wellbeing
- provide a relational connection
- give strength
- change perspective
- convey value
- increase creativity and cognitive function
- increase your own sense of well-being
The Power for Good
Mental health is a necessary component for our overall health. It includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make healthy choices.3
While there are many factors that over all influence our sense of well-being, believing that we have value, are loved and cared for, and have something to offer the world can be a game changer for someone who is struggling. It’s really such a small thing to offer a warm smile, and heart felt “congratulations” or “you can do this” to others. But it is quite amazing to see the huge difference that small genuine gesture can make.
1 Encouraging Expressions Affect the Brain and Alter Visual Attention, US National Library of Medicine
National Institutes of Health,
2 What Is Dopamine?, by Hope Cristol; WebMD
3 Strengthening Mental Health Promotion, Fact sheet no. 220. Geneva, Switzerland: World Health Organization.